All balls, all the time

Sun-Times columnists go "balls-out" today with their analyses of Governor Blagojevich's use of the term "testicular virility."

* Mark Brown has an imaginary phone call with the Emir of Qatar about the guv's testes.

* Mike Sneed:

Sneed would like to weigh in on the political feud between Gov. Blagojevich and his father-in-law, Ald. Dick Mell (33rd), which has devolved into a declaration by the governor that he has . . . balls.

Yes. I said it . . . the word our gentle leader chose not to use when he baptized himself with "testicular virility."

* Carol Marin talks to several prominent politicos about the Blagojevich comment and ends with this:

The next time the governor decides, as he did Monday, to reference a song to sum up his circumstances, he could do a lot better than the old Frank Sinatra tune "That's Life."

How about a little Jerry Lee Lewis and a few bars of ''Great Balls of Fire''?

* Neil Steinberg has a conniption:

Good Lord, where does one begin? The inherent contradiction in that phrase is what I savor most -- he wanted to say "balls" but, being a politician of course lacked sufficient . . . ahhhh . . . guts to actually say it.

*The editorial page even chimed in:

If you think blustery talk will improve your opinion poll ratings, Gov, think again.

* Meanwhile, over at the Tribune, John Kass asks the tough questions:

If this narcissism remains unchecked, I worry that he'll soon be running around Springfield wearing tights and a cape, insisting he's banishing evil.

So, as responsible citizens, we must ask a few questions, like:

Governor? Are you OK?

* The Daily Southtown editorial page tossed in its two cents:

In what surely will go down in political discourse alongside Churchill's "Blood, toil, tears and sweat" and JFK's "Ask not what your country can do for you" speeches, Gov. Rod "Macho, Macho Man" Blagojevich offered a candid self-assessment Monday of why Illinois can entrust its future to him.

It's because, Blagojevich modestly told us, he's blessed with "testicular virility."

And all along we thought it was the hair.

* Not to be outdone, the Southtown's Phil Kadner jumps into the fray:

What the governor lacks in approval ratings, he makes up for in testicular virility.

I know this because the governor announced he has big ones, as they say, during a news conference Monday.

* And the Daily Herald interviews women legislators about their reactions.

“It’s more of the same guy stuff here in Springfield,” said state Sen. Susan Garrett, a Lake Forest Democrat. “It always comes down to that, and it certainly comes down to that this time of year.”

Ain't gonna be no comments on this one. No way. Don't even ask.